I went on Fantasy Island, and my fantasy was to be with Kay Parker. Tattoo said "hey man, hope you get lucky" and Mr. Rourke said "ahh yes. The beautiful Kay Parker, with the bounteous, melon-like bosom". My hopes were indeed high and I was ready to be the apple in her eye. Unfortunately, the apple turned out to be a foot in my ass kicking me out the door when she saw the unfortunate pygmy-like size of my manhood. "I say, old chap" said Kay, "you sure have a small dick".