STUDY: EVERYTHING ABOUT CUCKOLDING
BACKGROUND
In a Cuckolding relationship the wife has sex outside of her marriage with her husband’s knowledge, while he remains faithful to her. The husband is known as a cuckold or cuck for short and he does not take lovers himself, instead his sexual pleasure and gratification is derived from the existence of his partner’s relationships. There are all sorts of variations in how these relationships operate and what involvement the husband may have, ranging from simply hearing about it from his wife, to input in the selection of her lovers, helping her prepare for a date, watching during sex, participating as directed, or by providing some type of sexual service to the wife and her lover.
SUMMARY
According to the results of this survey, the so-called ‘typical’ cuckold is
-a very well-educated, white man in his thirties or forties who lives in the United States.
- He earns well above the average wage and is most likely to be in a long term relationship or first marriage.
- He does not have self esteem issues and considers himself an alpha male with an average sized penis. Despite that, he enjoys being sexual humiliated and in particular may enjoy penis humiliation.
- He is most commonly sexually submissive to his wife and he enjoys the loss of control and responsibility being in this space offers.
- He is likely to have been initially drawn to Cuckolding by arousal experienced at the idea of his wife having sex with another man, and his lust and passion for his wife is increased after she has been with another man, a response say researchers into the male brain caused by the stimulation of mating hormones.
- He is also most likely to be bisexual or at least bi-curious, whether he articulates that to his partner or not.
- Cuckolds report having sex with their wives in roughly the same number as the population surveyed in the Kinsey Reports, which is at odds with a general perception that they are denied marital sex. However they consider themselves to need more mental, visual and aural stimulation than other men and say they enjoy masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex.
AGE
Cuckolds who responded to this survey were fairly widely and evenly spread across all age groups. The largest number were found in the 30-49 year bracket and either side of this, men 50-60 years old and men 21-29 years old, were to be found in roughly equal numbers.
ETHNICITY AND NATIONALITY
Cuckolds were most commonly Caucasian (at 91.1%) and at 55%, the most represented nationality was American.
There was a large gap numbers-wise to the second highest nationality represented, with Britain and Canada tying at 6%, followed by the Germans in third place at 4%. The table below goes down to a 0.4% representation, and a diverse range of nationalities were present under this figure, but the numbers were too low to register any significant value. Some of those countries included in small numbers were Estonia, Poland, Turkey, Portugal, Norway and Scotland.
EDUCATION
Men who identified as cuckolds in this survey were well educated. For example, a total of 83% of respondents had some form of college/university education and 19.5% of those had completed post graduate studies such as an MBA or PhD.
INCOME
Reported income levels tended to be fairly high (Given the average American wage is said to be around $35,000), with 48.8% of the men earning over US$50,000 per annum and just over one third, at 30.6%, earning over US$100,000.
INDUSTRY SECTOR
47.3% of the men were employed in the white collar (private or government) sector, which explains the high income levels. The other sectors were all represented, but in much low numbers and the number of men who were retired, students or unemployed were extremely low.
RELATIONSHIPS
Unsurprisingly, given that a Cuckolding relationship is based on the existence of a primary traditional husband/wife dynamic, 87.3% of the men were living with their significant others and a majority of 77% were married.
DURATION OF RELATIONSHPS
Cuckolding relationships appeared to be durable and long term, as most of the men were in them for 11 plus years. The second highest number of cuckolds were in the group married 0-5 years, so we might assume that there is space and time for the couples to partake in cuckolding early in the relationship—say before c***dren come along—and then again later after have and are raising young c***dren, perhaps explaining why the lowest number of cuckolds were in relationships of a 6-10 year duration.
Most of the cuckolds were in their first marriage and close to a third were in their second marriage.
PAST RELATIONSHIPS
For the majority, their current Cuckolding relationship is their first. If you take into account that many are in long term relationships with their partners, this would confirm 9.3.3% agreeing with the statement: Happy and successful Cuckolding couples are able to separate love from sexual desire. Nearly one third (25%) of practicing cuckolds have been in a previous Cuckold relationship, so for these men it is likely an openness to the possibility of Cuckolding was a factor when seeking a prospective new long-term partner.
THE PRIVATE CUCKOLD SELF
Asked to choose a response to this statement: “I’m an alpha male in my daily life and I enjoy the loss of control that Cuckolding gives me,” 64% gave a positive response, making comments about how Cuckolding offered a way to take a step out of how they usually lived their lives and how it temporarily released them from a position of control:
Being temporarily absolved from "responsibility", for "my performance", for "her pleasure" were the highest responses.
"Allowing others to make decisions for a while is relaxing" was agreed to by 88.7% of respndents.
76.2% of the men described themselves as sexually submissive with their wives and a further 15%, while not submissive, found the idea attractive. Only 8.8% had no interest in being sexually submissive. Some comments made included: " It gives me a freedom I don’t have when I’m expected to be sexually dominant." "We both enjoy being submissive sexually, so we try to take turns with each other."
THEIR PARTNERS
65% said their partners tended to be dominant in all aspects of the relationship, and when asked the question: “Do feel inferior to your wife?” exactly half said they did not feel inferior on any level to their female partners, while the other 50% considered themselves inferior to their wives in some fashion. Given the submissive nature of Cuckolding, it would be a fair guess that the men who do not consider themselves inferior consciously chose a role of inferiority/submission as part of their sexual persona, and are not victims of circumstance. Taking into account the high percentage of men who consider themselves alpha males, it is probably not surprising that only 8% nominated themselves as intellectually inferior. My fellow researcher, cuckold Steve suggests that the 20% who nominated being physically inferior would be alluding to their genitals and not to their physical stature. If you take into account that 36% of the men said they were attracted to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having a small penis, coupled with the fact that sexual humiliation was nominated as attractive to 55% of respondents, this would seem like a fair assumption.
SEXUAL DENIAL
Over half the men supported the statement that a Cuckoldress should practice sexual denial with her husband and this supports a theory that loss of control and agency make the idea of Cuckolding attractive to many cuckolds. As well, anecdotally another reason men who are drawn to Cuckolding support sexual denial is because they believe or want to believe that that they are not able to sexually satisfy their women (primarily because they believe their penis is adequate) and/or because they have a preference for living vicariously through the experiences of the wife’s lovers or through the fantasy of the wife’s sexual affairs. "To me, the hottest thing about Cuckolding is when my wife talks me off [re-tells her sexual exploits]" It is understood that my pay-off for being what she calls ‘a good little cuck’ is in hearing about it". " Hearing her moaning in the other room while I wait outside the door until she finishes with her Bull is totally hot for me" "Nothing hornier than receiving a text during the night to say: I have just been fucked."
This probably also explains why 82.3% of the men said they believed cuckolds need more aural and mental stimulation than the average man and that 66.9% of the men surveyed said they enjoyed masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex, using the a primary fantasy of the Cuckoldress wife having sex with other men.
WHY CUCKOLDING
The men were asked to select all the factors which led them to Cuckolding. With the highest response rate at 82.8%, the major drawcard for the men was arousal caused by the thought of seeing their wives with other men; and the ‘my private porn star’ response—while not a politically correct one—was alluded to by a number of men.
The second most popular factor was an enjoyment of sexual submissiveness, at 61.9%. " There is no question I’m a powerful guy in real life, therefore sitting in women’s underwear outside the door waiting while some guy pleasures her is so quirky, so different to who I usually am, that I get off on the idea of that ‘other me’ being so pussy whipped."
At 55%, just over half of the men rated the opportunity for sexual humiliation as a factor which attracted them to Cuckolding.
I believe we were also remiss in not including an option for ‘pleasing my wife’, as a factor for being attracted to Cuckolding. We made the assumption that the men were only motivated by their own sexual desires, however there were a number of voluntary comments made by the men which related to a desire to please their partners: "I just love seeing her live her true sexual passion." "Sexual freedom for my wife boosts her confidence." "My wife loves being dominant and I’m man enough to let her express it."
SMALL PENIS FACTORS
The men were also asked if they enjoyed small penis humiliation, taken to mean having derogatory remarks made about their size, length, girth and their ability to satisfy a woman sexually or being compared to men who were more endowed. While 29% had no interest in it, the remaining 71% were attracted to having this experience to some degree.
Small (under 5 inches long)
Average (5-7 inches long)
Large (over 7 inches long)
The common assumption around cuckolds is that they must have a small penis and that is is a deciding factor in them being attracted to Cuckolding. However in this survey the majority of cuckolds described themselves to be of average physical endowment. Obviously there is no way of knowing if the responses are true, however in this case, 36% of men said they were drawn to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having as small penis, which is higher than the number who actually identified themsleves in the small penis (5 inches and under) category according to the measurement table.
BISEXUALITY
In response to the question, ‘do you consider yourself bisexual?’ 29.2% described themselves as bisexual, 18.4% as bi-curious and 18.1% would like to be forced into bisexual behaviour. In total this means that 69.9% of the men have some interest in, or identification with, bisexuality. The high number who would do it if ‘forced’ probably speaks a little to the fact that in society generally it is much more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual or lesbian than for a man to be bisexual or homosexual,
CUM EATING
While an interest in consuming another man’s semen through the act of the creampie is tied to the masochistic experience of humiliation, for many it is openly a way to express their bisexuality. For others it is also entirely possible that wishing to give a wife post-sex oral sex or licking ejaculate from her breasts or body, is a way for some men of framing erotic homosexual desires so that they remain within a heterosexual framework, i.e. between the man and woman.
LIFESTYLE MECHANICS
We asked how open couples were with regard to their Cuckold arrangement and perhaps unsurprisingly, couples were very selective about who they told. Given how taboo extra marital sex remains round the world and how few people are familiar with what Cuckolding actually is; this would explain why family and close friends were the least likely to be chosen as confidants. However what we consider a fairly high number (at 40.7%), confided in others, who they described as not necessarily family or friends, and from that we would infer these are other couples in leading a similar lifestyle. Other people are of course involved by virtue of the fact that the couples need to locate, screen, meet and play with the male lovers, most often referred to as Bulls.
LOCATING BULLS
Bulls are located by the tried and true methods of meeting through work, at social venues like pubs and clubs and by advertising on websites that cater to the Cuckolding community. In our survey group a very tiny 9% of the men choose the Bulls, while close to half of the time the wife locates her own sexual partners. As the cuckold generally defers to her when it comes to matters of sex and the Cuckoldress generally holds the sexually dominant role in the relationship, this would be expected; however relationships appear flexible enough to leave room for it being a co-decision when required, given the result that 20% said they looked together and 25% said it was situation dependant.
WHERE IT HAPPENS
Where does cuckolding take place?
The question of where the actual act takes place unearthed a mixed bag of responses. While the figure of 17.8% (just over one in five men) said their wives had sex with their lovers in the marital bed, that figure is probably higher, given that 54.6% of the men stated it could be any of those venue: the marital bed, in the home or outside of the home. Anecdotally there is a strong element of submissive symbolism related to the use of the marital bed, which can be powerfully erotic and stimulating to both cucks and Cuckoldresses. In fact one of the best known amateur pay for view cuckolding sites uses the marital bed to film their exploits for precisely this reason. Given the number of cuckolds who display some interest in bisexuality it also allows a way of expressing their sexual interest in other men by smelling/tasting/feeling the other man without having any direct contact:
DOES IT ENHANCES DESIRE
98.2% of the cuckolds agreed with the statement: ‘The desire and passion for my Cuckoldress is heightened after she has been with another man’. Brizendine (The Male Brain 2010, p.64) refers to this concept as ‘mate guarding’, in which a man’s mating hormones are stimulated by fear of loss and rejection, and this in turn intensifies his feelings of love and passion for his mate.
ANGELA PhD
Gelöscht
In a Cuckolding relationship the wife has sex outside of her marriage with her husband’s knowledge, while he remains faithful to her. The husband is known as a cuckold or cuck for short and he does not take lovers himself, instead his sexual pleasure and gratification is derived from the existence of his partner’s relationships. There are all sorts of variations in how these relationships operate and what involvement the husband may have, ranging from simply hearing about it from his wife, to input in the selection of her lovers, helping her prepare for a date, watching during sex, participating as directed, or by providing some type of sexual service to the wife and her lover.
SUMMARY
According to the results of this survey, the so-called ‘typical’ cuckold is
-a very well-educated, white man in his thirties or forties who lives in the United States.
- He earns well above the average wage and is most likely to be in a long term relationship or first marriage.
- He does not have self esteem issues and considers himself an alpha male with an average sized penis. Despite that, he enjoys being sexual humiliated and in particular may enjoy penis humiliation.
- He is most commonly sexually submissive to his wife and he enjoys the loss of control and responsibility being in this space offers.
- He is likely to have been initially drawn to Cuckolding by arousal experienced at the idea of his wife having sex with another man, and his lust and passion for his wife is increased after she has been with another man, a response say researchers into the male brain caused by the stimulation of mating hormones.
- He is also most likely to be bisexual or at least bi-curious, whether he articulates that to his partner or not.
- Cuckolds report having sex with their wives in roughly the same number as the population surveyed in the Kinsey Reports, which is at odds with a general perception that they are denied marital sex. However they consider themselves to need more mental, visual and aural stimulation than other men and say they enjoy masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex.
AGE
Cuckolds who responded to this survey were fairly widely and evenly spread across all age groups. The largest number were found in the 30-49 year bracket and either side of this, men 50-60 years old and men 21-29 years old, were to be found in roughly equal numbers.
ETHNICITY AND NATIONALITY
Cuckolds were most commonly Caucasian (at 91.1%) and at 55%, the most represented nationality was American.
There was a large gap numbers-wise to the second highest nationality represented, with Britain and Canada tying at 6%, followed by the Germans in third place at 4%. The table below goes down to a 0.4% representation, and a diverse range of nationalities were present under this figure, but the numbers were too low to register any significant value. Some of those countries included in small numbers were Estonia, Poland, Turkey, Portugal, Norway and Scotland.
EDUCATION
Men who identified as cuckolds in this survey were well educated. For example, a total of 83% of respondents had some form of college/university education and 19.5% of those had completed post graduate studies such as an MBA or PhD.
INCOME
Reported income levels tended to be fairly high (Given the average American wage is said to be around $35,000), with 48.8% of the men earning over US$50,000 per annum and just over one third, at 30.6%, earning over US$100,000.
INDUSTRY SECTOR
47.3% of the men were employed in the white collar (private or government) sector, which explains the high income levels. The other sectors were all represented, but in much low numbers and the number of men who were retired, students or unemployed were extremely low.
RELATIONSHIPS
Unsurprisingly, given that a Cuckolding relationship is based on the existence of a primary traditional husband/wife dynamic, 87.3% of the men were living with their significant others and a majority of 77% were married.
DURATION OF RELATIONSHPS
Cuckolding relationships appeared to be durable and long term, as most of the men were in them for 11 plus years. The second highest number of cuckolds were in the group married 0-5 years, so we might assume that there is space and time for the couples to partake in cuckolding early in the relationship—say before c***dren come along—and then again later after have and are raising young c***dren, perhaps explaining why the lowest number of cuckolds were in relationships of a 6-10 year duration.
Most of the cuckolds were in their first marriage and close to a third were in their second marriage.
PAST RELATIONSHIPS
For the majority, their current Cuckolding relationship is their first. If you take into account that many are in long term relationships with their partners, this would confirm 9.3.3% agreeing with the statement: Happy and successful Cuckolding couples are able to separate love from sexual desire. Nearly one third (25%) of practicing cuckolds have been in a previous Cuckold relationship, so for these men it is likely an openness to the possibility of Cuckolding was a factor when seeking a prospective new long-term partner.
THE PRIVATE CUCKOLD SELF
Asked to choose a response to this statement: “I’m an alpha male in my daily life and I enjoy the loss of control that Cuckolding gives me,” 64% gave a positive response, making comments about how Cuckolding offered a way to take a step out of how they usually lived their lives and how it temporarily released them from a position of control:
Being temporarily absolved from "responsibility", for "my performance", for "her pleasure" were the highest responses.
"Allowing others to make decisions for a while is relaxing" was agreed to by 88.7% of respndents.
76.2% of the men described themselves as sexually submissive with their wives and a further 15%, while not submissive, found the idea attractive. Only 8.8% had no interest in being sexually submissive. Some comments made included: " It gives me a freedom I don’t have when I’m expected to be sexually dominant." "We both enjoy being submissive sexually, so we try to take turns with each other."
THEIR PARTNERS
65% said their partners tended to be dominant in all aspects of the relationship, and when asked the question: “Do feel inferior to your wife?” exactly half said they did not feel inferior on any level to their female partners, while the other 50% considered themselves inferior to their wives in some fashion. Given the submissive nature of Cuckolding, it would be a fair guess that the men who do not consider themselves inferior consciously chose a role of inferiority/submission as part of their sexual persona, and are not victims of circumstance. Taking into account the high percentage of men who consider themselves alpha males, it is probably not surprising that only 8% nominated themselves as intellectually inferior. My fellow researcher, cuckold Steve suggests that the 20% who nominated being physically inferior would be alluding to their genitals and not to their physical stature. If you take into account that 36% of the men said they were attracted to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having a small penis, coupled with the fact that sexual humiliation was nominated as attractive to 55% of respondents, this would seem like a fair assumption.
SEXUAL DENIAL
Over half the men supported the statement that a Cuckoldress should practice sexual denial with her husband and this supports a theory that loss of control and agency make the idea of Cuckolding attractive to many cuckolds. As well, anecdotally another reason men who are drawn to Cuckolding support sexual denial is because they believe or want to believe that that they are not able to sexually satisfy their women (primarily because they believe their penis is adequate) and/or because they have a preference for living vicariously through the experiences of the wife’s lovers or through the fantasy of the wife’s sexual affairs. "To me, the hottest thing about Cuckolding is when my wife talks me off [re-tells her sexual exploits]" It is understood that my pay-off for being what she calls ‘a good little cuck’ is in hearing about it". " Hearing her moaning in the other room while I wait outside the door until she finishes with her Bull is totally hot for me" "Nothing hornier than receiving a text during the night to say: I have just been fucked."
This probably also explains why 82.3% of the men said they believed cuckolds need more aural and mental stimulation than the average man and that 66.9% of the men surveyed said they enjoyed masturbation and fantasy more than actual sex, using the a primary fantasy of the Cuckoldress wife having sex with other men.
WHY CUCKOLDING
The men were asked to select all the factors which led them to Cuckolding. With the highest response rate at 82.8%, the major drawcard for the men was arousal caused by the thought of seeing their wives with other men; and the ‘my private porn star’ response—while not a politically correct one—was alluded to by a number of men.
The second most popular factor was an enjoyment of sexual submissiveness, at 61.9%. " There is no question I’m a powerful guy in real life, therefore sitting in women’s underwear outside the door waiting while some guy pleasures her is so quirky, so different to who I usually am, that I get off on the idea of that ‘other me’ being so pussy whipped."
At 55%, just over half of the men rated the opportunity for sexual humiliation as a factor which attracted them to Cuckolding.
I believe we were also remiss in not including an option for ‘pleasing my wife’, as a factor for being attracted to Cuckolding. We made the assumption that the men were only motivated by their own sexual desires, however there were a number of voluntary comments made by the men which related to a desire to please their partners: "I just love seeing her live her true sexual passion." "Sexual freedom for my wife boosts her confidence." "My wife loves being dominant and I’m man enough to let her express it."
SMALL PENIS FACTORS
The men were also asked if they enjoyed small penis humiliation, taken to mean having derogatory remarks made about their size, length, girth and their ability to satisfy a woman sexually or being compared to men who were more endowed. While 29% had no interest in it, the remaining 71% were attracted to having this experience to some degree.
Small (under 5 inches long)
Average (5-7 inches long)
Large (over 7 inches long)
The common assumption around cuckolds is that they must have a small penis and that is is a deciding factor in them being attracted to Cuckolding. However in this survey the majority of cuckolds described themselves to be of average physical endowment. Obviously there is no way of knowing if the responses are true, however in this case, 36% of men said they were drawn to Cuckolding because they perceived themselves as having as small penis, which is higher than the number who actually identified themsleves in the small penis (5 inches and under) category according to the measurement table.
BISEXUALITY
In response to the question, ‘do you consider yourself bisexual?’ 29.2% described themselves as bisexual, 18.4% as bi-curious and 18.1% would like to be forced into bisexual behaviour. In total this means that 69.9% of the men have some interest in, or identification with, bisexuality. The high number who would do it if ‘forced’ probably speaks a little to the fact that in society generally it is much more acceptable for a woman to be bisexual or lesbian than for a man to be bisexual or homosexual,
CUM EATING
While an interest in consuming another man’s semen through the act of the creampie is tied to the masochistic experience of humiliation, for many it is openly a way to express their bisexuality. For others it is also entirely possible that wishing to give a wife post-sex oral sex or licking ejaculate from her breasts or body, is a way for some men of framing erotic homosexual desires so that they remain within a heterosexual framework, i.e. between the man and woman.
LIFESTYLE MECHANICS
We asked how open couples were with regard to their Cuckold arrangement and perhaps unsurprisingly, couples were very selective about who they told. Given how taboo extra marital sex remains round the world and how few people are familiar with what Cuckolding actually is; this would explain why family and close friends were the least likely to be chosen as confidants. However what we consider a fairly high number (at 40.7%), confided in others, who they described as not necessarily family or friends, and from that we would infer these are other couples in leading a similar lifestyle. Other people are of course involved by virtue of the fact that the couples need to locate, screen, meet and play with the male lovers, most often referred to as Bulls.
LOCATING BULLS
Bulls are located by the tried and true methods of meeting through work, at social venues like pubs and clubs and by advertising on websites that cater to the Cuckolding community. In our survey group a very tiny 9% of the men choose the Bulls, while close to half of the time the wife locates her own sexual partners. As the cuckold generally defers to her when it comes to matters of sex and the Cuckoldress generally holds the sexually dominant role in the relationship, this would be expected; however relationships appear flexible enough to leave room for it being a co-decision when required, given the result that 20% said they looked together and 25% said it was situation dependant.
WHERE IT HAPPENS
Where does cuckolding take place?
The question of where the actual act takes place unearthed a mixed bag of responses. While the figure of 17.8% (just over one in five men) said their wives had sex with their lovers in the marital bed, that figure is probably higher, given that 54.6% of the men stated it could be any of those venue: the marital bed, in the home or outside of the home. Anecdotally there is a strong element of submissive symbolism related to the use of the marital bed, which can be powerfully erotic and stimulating to both cucks and Cuckoldresses. In fact one of the best known amateur pay for view cuckolding sites uses the marital bed to film their exploits for precisely this reason. Given the number of cuckolds who display some interest in bisexuality it also allows a way of expressing their sexual interest in other men by smelling/tasting/feeling the other man without having any direct contact:
DOES IT ENHANCES DESIRE
98.2% of the cuckolds agreed with the statement: ‘The desire and passion for my Cuckoldress is heightened after she has been with another man’. Brizendine (The Male Brain 2010, p.64) refers to this concept as ‘mate guarding’, in which a man’s mating hormones are stimulated by fear of loss and rejection, and this in turn intensifies his feelings of love and passion for his mate.
ANGELA PhD
Gelöscht
vor 2 Jahren